Firstly I have to say I am not sure where I am going with this, but I have been noting something really interesting today: Why is it that we want what we can't have?
Now this is quite a personal dilema for me today as having finished up all the Christmas goodies and been for my last diner out of the festive season I thought this would be a great week to get back to healthy eating, doing some exercise, meditating,drinking water and all that jazz!
Normally I am so not bothered by food that I can forget to eat 'til mid-afternoon (and then end up feeling feint and have to eat sugar quick). When I can eat what I like I am pretty chilled out it has to be said. However here I am today , day one of getting back to my 'healthy lifestyle' fresh fruit, veg, healthy foods, plenty of water, green tea, smoothies and ALL I can think about is food! I am so obsessed that it seems every advert on TV tonight is for something yummy - something not on my 'oh so healthy' list!
Why is this , I want to know, is this just the kid in me that doesn't want to be told what I can't have ? Is just the attention that I have given to my lifesytle by declaring that I am needing to change it up or is there a slightly darker self destructive 'devil on your shoulder' that likes to sabotage my plans for a healthy body?
Psychologically there does seem to be a phenomenon of wanting the unattainable, in fact often the more unattainable something is (or perceived to be) the more you have to have it, just look at the way people queue round the block for the latest phone/tablet/music player being released by 'you know who'. There is really little difference between mark 2 and mark 1 , but OMG what if they run out and I don't get it and all my friends do , I'll never live it down.
Just to highlight this further a few days ago my neighbour knocked at my door and asked if my cold water was working as her's wasn't. On checking mine too had dried to a pathetic dribble, we did manage to fill a kettle and a couple of bottles in case things took a while to sort out. After investigating there was a burst pipe further up the road and we had no timescale on our supply being back on. Guess how thirsty I suddenly was! As it happens there was no panic the supply was back in just over an hour but it just goes to show - we always want what we can't have.
The phenomenon certainly carries over to our love lives too in many cases, chasing after the 'oh soooo attractive' man/woman that we are not supposed to chase, the boyfriend that our family doesn't approve of . Probably the most famous love story of all time was based around two families that couldn't stand the sight of each other and how their beloved children fell in love and tragically took their own lives......'My only love sprung from my only hate' Juliet Capulet - Romeo and Juliet . The fascination with these doomed lovers never seems to end, and the story has been retold again and again in various different formats, could it be that we all relate to the forbidden love that forms it's background?
Now there does seem to be a scientific explanation for some of this , and it would take all day to really go into this in detail as it's massively complex, but there does seem to be a connection between the levels of production of the neurotransmitter dopamine and the time we have to wait for something we desire. Basically the longer we have to wait, anticipation builds and so does dopamine, dopamine makes us feel good hence the object of our desire is even more attractive. I have probably over simplified but you get the gist.
The up side of this is that it does keep us motivated in a positive way, for example those who keep working towards that dream job are prime examples of how to put this phenomenon to good use .
So in summary , it seems we are kind of stuck with wanting the unattainable, however, often it is only our perception that makes it unattainable, I actually had chocolate in my fridge I could have eaten today I just chose not to because I wanted to be healthier, now I just need to let the dopamine know that vegetables are pleasurable, if I find out how you will find me blogging from my new villa in Florida on the back of the profits from my new book 'Veg is sexy'!
©JaneHeron2015
